Chairs

How you’re using it: At all.

In a study at Woodend Hospital in Aberdeen, Scotland, it was found that people who sit up straight actually cause more back problems for themselves than people who slouch. Try one of those ergonomic chairs or a stool if you’re worried about this.

How you’re using it: You don’t know how to cook.

First off, use a giant pot. Always fill the pot with cold water. Heavily salt the water, but never put oil in it—this lends to the sauce not clinging to the pasta in the right way. Also, spaghetti is a great way to light something on fire from the stove if you don’t have a match—highly flammable but slow burning!

Old Wooden Pallets

How you’re using it: As fire wood.

Lay out two layers of pallets, in an L shape, cover with cushions, and you have a couch with storage underneath. Because you’re just broke, not stupid.